Is it because I queefed?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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