Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
