Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
