but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
