He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
