How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
