so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
