absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
