I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
