it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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