is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
