what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
