So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
