i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
