so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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