i just wanna soil my oats bro
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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