GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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