I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we're making bets on your personal life
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
