is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
