I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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