I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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