after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
