Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
