you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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