yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
