You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
