Your mouth is God's brothel.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
