1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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