Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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