Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
FUCK WHALES
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
