Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
