If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
How naked do you want me to be?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
