i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
