At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
