apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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