I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
