How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
how does that bad decision feel?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
