shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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