Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
