I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
