Nicole vs. Life
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
