All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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