He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
