D3 body, D1 cock
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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