I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You need a sexual gate keeper
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
