quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
