when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
