i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
