So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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