I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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