nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
